Saturday, April 13, 2013

Drug doses are really just guidelines anyway

The next 5 blog posts are all cases from the same week. It's a wonder I still have all my hair.

I really try to come up with happy, warm and fuzzy stories to tell you all but somehow its always the A-holes that make it to the blogs, isn't it?

Today I had a new client come in with a cat having urinary problems. This is probably one of the most common presentations I see (like on a daily, sometimes twice daily basis).  I've got my spiel down pat.

This one was a little weird... since the owners decided to consult Dr. Google prior to coming in and had administered bits of a 1000 mg Amoxicilin over the past few days. Have I mentioned how much I hate Dr. Google?? That jerk doesn't even have a medical degree.

They also recently changed the food because the cat was itching and clearly that means he had a food allergy, it could not possibly be a flea problem, no sir.

After we discussed how the cat likely did not have a UTI, although now it would be near impossible to tell for sure since they had decided to self-medicate, and they agreed to some basic things like flea control, I found out that they had been using "the bigger dose" of OTC flea control and splitting it between 4 cats.

Me: "Well, that's not really how it works. And what bigger dose?"

"It has a dog and a cat on it. Dogs and cats are the same."

"No, actually they're not the same. Not only are you not giving anybody an effective dose but if you put dog medicine on a cat you could make your cats really ill."

"Well can I just split this one (holds up prescription flea control)? It has a lot of liquid in there."

"No, this is meant for one cat. It is the full dose for one cat."

"But I can just split it."

"You can, but you will actually end up spending more money in the long run because its not going to work the full month, in fact you won't even know when it stops working. Then you'll have to apply more doses."

"But only two cats go outside."

"Well fleas can hitch a ride and they are going to jump between cats. You have to medicate all of them, or its just a complete waste of money."

Finally they at least accepted my answers, and left, if not actually believing them. Why even bother coming in if you are not going to listen to the advice you are paying for?

Monday, April 1, 2013

I wish these were April Fool's Jokes

Receptionist: "Hi, its been a month since we saw Mr. Kitty. We're calling to remind you about his senior bloodwork, which you were unable to do at his appointment."
Ms. Priority: "I can't afford bloodwork for my cat right now, I'm getting a new tattoo."
        -------------> for more info, see post describing cannot afford vs. will not afford


Guy walks in, new client, no appointment. Old dog in the crook of his arm.

Receptionist: "How can I help you?"
Owner: "My dog is having trouble getting all of the poop out."
R: "Ok, would you like to make an appointment with the doctor?
Owner: "No, I don't want to see the doctor. I just need you to tell me what is wrong."
R: "Here is the information for the emergency clinic."


A lady walks in with her dog in the afternoon complaining that her cat scratched him in the eye. As it turns out, she had called that morning.

Receptionist: "Good Morning, how can I help you?"
Can'tPayHerBills:  "Hi, my cat scratched my dog's eye, and I thought it was going to be okay, but now he can't open it."
R: "Ok, that sounds like something that needs to be seen. What time can you bring him in?"
C: "I don't have any money. Can't you just give me something to fix it?"
R: "No, you'll need to see the doctor. Our exam is $X, and after that we will give you an estimate--"

Later that day, the door opens.

C: "Hi, I called earlier this morning about my dog's eye?" {dog urinates on books in lobby}
R: "Ok, we can see you, but since you didn't make an appointment we will have to charge you a walk-in exam."
C: "That's fine, my friend is paying for this visit.
R: "Oooh..."

After I've spoken to the woman and diagnosed a large corneal ulcer, a conversation during which she said several rude and contradicting things, I walk outside to tell her about it. She is sitting in our courtyard on her iphone smoking a cigarette. She looks at me, so I begin to speak.

"Hi, so -"

She actually holds up her index finger in order to stop me from talking. She continues her conversation regarding going out with her friends to get drinks later that night.

I turn tail, walk back to my office, and proceed to sit there for 20 minutes while I cool down. By the time I felt like going back to talk to her, she had left.

The absolute nerve of this woman, walking in on someone else's dime and doing all of the things she did, left such a bad taste in all of our mouths. I will never understand how some people can behave the way they do. Shameful.

All names and identifying details have been changed, and any resemblence to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.