Dr. M: Don't let her lick [the wound] because she'll introduce more bacteria, if she's licking she'll need an e-collar.
Granola: I thought dog saliva was an antiseptic?
Dr. M: How long has the vomiting been going on?
Mr. Nip it in the Bud: Oh, several months. But I brought her in because I didn't want to wait till it was too late like with my other cats.
Just Crazy: Can I take my cat camping?
Dr. M: Um, no I don't recommend that.
Just Crazy: Why not?
Dr. M: Because your cat just escaped his carrier in our office. You take him into the wide open campground with no walls and see how well that goes.
Just Crazy: Well I have one of those line things with a leash attached.
Miss Nose: What do you think about potty training cats?
Dr. M: Well, I don't recommend it for various reasons. Why do you want to do it?
Miss Nose: Well her poop really smells.
Dr. M: Yeah, poop smells.
Miss Nose: Ohhhh......
Mme Repeat: She's been limping since last night after she got hurt, and she was crying in pain so I gave her a baby aspirin.
Dr. M: Ok, she didn't get the toxic dose, but its not a good idea to give your dogs human medications.
Mme Repeat: Well I just thought it would take the edge off.
Dr. M: Ok, just don't give it again.
Mme Repeat: Yeah, well, I just thought it would, ya know, take the edge off.
Dr. M: Ok, I understand why you gave it, I'm just saying DON'T give it again.
Mme Repeat: Well, see I just kinda thought it would take the edge-
I seem to have blocked all other conversations from this week as this is all I can remember. Face-palm.
*All names and identifying details have been changed. Any resemblence to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.