QOTD

"I'm hungry. Do you guys have a sandwich?"
.... Yeah, right next to our fecal testing area. Mustard or mayo???

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How you know your cat is too fat:
"Your cat weighs 22 pounds. This is way too much."
"Yeah..... he weighs more than my two year old. Daughter."

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"Why does this cat have a one dollar bill rolled around its collar?"

"Oh, a lady should always have a little money on her." 

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Do you guys have any tootsie rolls?
.. Uhh the candy or....

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{tech} How should I describe that mass on the report?
"Tongue based mass, protruding through the rami (?) if the mandibles, 5-6cm long."
Ok, tail based mass, protruding through the mandible-
"If its tail based coming out the jaw, we have a big problem.

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Client to tech: Wow, you are really young.
Tech: I'm older than the doctor!!

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"That's what my breeder said you would say."
... Why the F#@$ did you even ask me then??? Go.Away.