It just keeps getting better....

Mr. Seeker: Well sometimes I take the dog's pain medication. You know, if mine runs out. So I like to keep a stash on hand, just in case. 

.. Haha, buh-bye. 

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Ms. Psycho: You charge how much for euthanasia?! That's ridiculous! I could just throw the dog off the balcony! 

.. Umm, ok. Our way is pain free and legal, but you know, details. 

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(We are having cake for a staff member's birthday. A client sees it as he walks past the employee-only area to the bathroom.

Mr. Sweet Tooth: Oh, is that cake?

Nurse: Oh yeah, it's Fred's birthday today so we're having cake.

Mr. Sweet Tooth: Oh. 

[awkward pause as Mr. ST stares at the cake.]

Nurse: Do you want a piece?

Mr. ST: Oh yeah, I'd love one. 

We give him a piece of cake. As if that wasn't weird enough, he then pops his head back into the room and asks for another piece!!! WTF?!? Get your own freaking cake! 

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We get an rx request for medication for an animal we have never seen. The astute receptionist calls the client to ask if there has been some mistake.

Ms. IQ:  Oh no, you've seen him. It's for Fluffy.
R: But on this request, you put a different name, different weight, and even different species. If its for Fluffy why didn't you just put the correct information?
Ms IQ: Because I want to buy a bigger dosage and just split it because that's cheaper.
R: (checks with me) Um, that's not how dosing works for this medication. And we can't dispense meds for an imaginary animal.
Ms IQ: Look, I'm very smart and I split my mom's heart medication and it worked just fine.
R: Um, okay.... but this -
Ms. IQ: If you're not gonna give it to me I will just have to get it illegally!
R: Okay, you do that....

For further info on this topic, see Drug Doses are Just Guidelines Anyway.

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Wow, people. What WILL you say next week. We are waiting with baited breath.