Bonus February Post: Oh No You Didn't!

Since we get an extra day in awful February, here is an extra post. This is a true story. No embellishments.

It was a Friday, one of the last days in February, and we were extremely busy. I had about 10 minutes for lunch, so I finished an appointment with a senior kitty and ran across the street to get Subway.

I was standing in line, contemplating what sandwich to get and what would cost me the most points-wise (WW), and settled on roast beef. Then I decided to get myself a bag of cheetos to snack on. It was a very stressful week and I needed some comfort food.

I paid for my lunch and walked out of the store, back in the direction of the hospital. Coming toward me was a rather large woman carrying a few plastic bags and gesticulating while talking to herself. There are a few vagrants and homeless around, and most are harmless, so I didn't think much of it. Until I noticed she was looking at me and talking to me.

She came right up to me and got in my face, calling me a bitch and saying things like "Oh you think you're too good for me?" and other incomprehensible insults. I said, "I'm just walking.." and tried to duck around her. That's when she swung her fist and hit me in the back of my head/neck.

I turned and the words "What the FUCK?" came out of my mouth. She jumped toward me, trying to provoke me into a fight. I just walked across the street back to the clinic. These were my thoughts, in order:

1. Did that really just happen?
2. I need to call the police.
3. I'm so glad I bought myself cheetos.

I went back to work and called the police, and several cars drove around looking for her. I don't think they found her.

I contemplated the odds of this ever happening again while eating my cheetos. They're 10 points per bag, by the way.


  1. This is both sad and hilarious at the same time. I feel like you deserved a full size bag!

    1. I never buy myself full size because I will sit there and eat it ALL.


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